“Lean Mean Thirteen” by Janet Evanovich

“Lean Mean Thirteen” by Janet Evanovich
2007, St. Martin’s Press
ISBN: 978-0-312-34949-3

“Lean Mean Thirteen” by Janet Evanovich is a Stephanie Plum novel. Stephanie is a bounty hunter. You might have seen television shows lately featuring bounty hunters. Forget it. Television shows are tame compared to what goes on in a Stephanie Plum novel. And, if you’ve ever read any of the others (12 before this one and more in between the numbers) you will not be disappointed.

In “Lean Mean Thirteen” Stephanie is really working hand to mouth. She’s driving a really cruddy looking Crown Victoria that everybody thinks is a cop car. It probably was in a former incarnation. But, she’s driving it now. And, wanting anything else. But, she can’t afford it. So, she reports for duty at her cousin Vinnie’s bail bond business and picks up 3 skips. Those are people she’s supposed to go out, apprehend and take to the pokey. They can then get themselves bonded out again. Usually they are FTA (failure to appear) because they missed a court date or something like that.

So, one guy she’s after is a taxidermist waiting for the cable repair people. He cannot leave his house because he’s already been waiting for weeks. So, he builds these exploding animals as booby traps. The first one goes off in Stephanie’s Crown Victoria. Ugh. Squirrel guts all over the place.

Another guy she’s after is known for robbing the dead. Stephanie’s grandmother Mauzer’s favorite past time is to go to viewings at the local funeral homes and she reports back to Stephanie who was adorned with what tempting jewelry. So, Stephanie goes to lay in wait for the guy to rob one of the recently departed.

Lula, an ex hooker now file clerk and bounty hunter in training accompanies Stephanie on most of her missions. This is very helpful because Lula is terrific as backup. She isn’t afraid to use a stun gun and, although her aim isn’t the best, isn’t afraid to use her gun.

In the meantime Ranger, a really hot bounty hunter and Stephanie’s mentor and backup asks for a favor. Stephanie needs to plant a bug on her ex-husband Dickie. That whole thing flares up into some really bad news and the bad guys, the really bad guys are on the loose. Joe Morelli, Stephanie’s long time hot cop boy friend is also involved in the investigation.

That’s sort of it in a nutshell, but to get the close and in your face enjoyment from this story you really need to read it yourself. It’s a pip as Grandma Mauzer would say. You’ll enjoy it.