2001, St. Martin’s Press
“Seven Up” by Janet Evonovich is a Stephanie Plum novel. Stephanie Plum is a bounty hunter. You know the tv shows, “Dog” and “Bounty Hunter Girls”? Right. This is better. Those are G rated. This one is R. Plus, it’s funnier than hell.
Stephanie is on the job trying to bring Eddie DeChooch in because he didn’t go to court. He’s got to be in his 80’s. He can’t see. He can’t pee. He can’t get an erection. He eludes her throughout the book. Every time she gets this close to having him in cuffs he leaves. It gets embarrassing, except I laughed so hard reading this book.
Grandma Mazur gets kidnapped by Eddie. At first she thought it might be some sort of kinky sex game until she realized that she’d been kidnapped. Stephanie rescues her grandmother and then gets kidnapped herself. Dougie and Mooner, stoned throughout the book, get kidnapped. Everybody gets kidnapped.
I know when I pick a Stephanie Plum book up from the library I’m going to be enjoying myself. It’s a sense of anticipation I used to get when I bought a fifth of rum. Weird. I used to drink. I stopped drinking 8 years ago. But, I remember what it was like. Fine. Rum and coke. Yup. I can’t do that anymore, but I can read and I dearly love to read this fine series of books. I think Janet Evonovich has written 13 for Stephanie. I’ve got a ways to go before I finish.